Bouncing Back!!

Hey y'all,

I'm still alive!! I apologize for the long gap between posts. My injury was more serious than I originally imagined, and it impacted my emotional and mental wellbeing more severely than I could have predicted. Recovery has taken a very long time and I am still recovering. My right knee has healed considerably, though full range of motion has yet to return and I am still suffering from instability of the patella and nerve damage. I'm getting used to walking with a cane. I was trying so hard to keep from being dependent on others, and then stay out of people's way since I was convinced I was dead weight that I got in my own way and perhaps that is part of the reason why my recovery is so slow. So many people have been so kind to me and I have spent much time telling myself that I am unworthy of their care since I couldn't reciprocate.

I have made wonderful friends, supportive friends who are have helped me open my eyes to both my strengths and weaknesses. I only hope that I can make the most from the lessons I am going through.

Over the summer, I went to Taiwan and visited some Canadian friends of mine. Being around them was soothing and I enjoyed my time in Danshui. If you go to Taiwan...seriously, best, strangest food I've ever had, and possibly, the cheapest holiday ever.

School is starting up again, and I have another chance to focus on my studies and further my Japanese language abilities. I realized a little while ago that this is my last "year" in university as an undergrad, so I had best enjoy it!

I have also gotten involved with an International friendship group, known as HUG <http://www.e-hug.jp/>. Great, great group with friendly, open people. I will also be going for an interview for a job teaching English tomorrow, which should be fun. Wish me luck!!

<3
Rocketfrog

p.s. I promise to start posting regularly again.
p.s.s. I Promise.
p.s.s.s. SERIOUSLY.

Taking on One Day at a Time

Well, just past two weeks since my tumble and I am healing up steadily. Its been a real rollercoaster of emotions and feelings, dealing with my injury, being stuck in my room and unable to get out, but I just want to take a moment to thank the people who have been so supportive of me.

There is my dorm "mom" who stayed with me the five hours it took to see a doctor and get a proper diagnosis. She checked on me every weekday for the past two weeks, slipping mail under my door and talking with me. And during rough days during that first week, she would buy me sushi, bring trays of food, buns and soup to me.

Despite my many attempts to cloister myself away, she would keep my spirits up, and when I tried to push going to school, she would remind me that I have a years time in Japan and what is most important is to rest as much as possible so that I don't reinjure myself and take longer to get better.


And then my dorm mates, T, who would grocery shop for me, bring me my homework and genuinely ask about my wellbeing, Y, who lent me money until I was able to take a taxi to a seven eleven to take money out to pay for my hospital bills and would pick up odds and ends for me, and F and S, who both brought me home-made treats to cheer me up. Even though I have only known these women for a few months, they have all been so caring and kind.

Margie, my mom's friend from long ago sent me a box full of easily prepared foods from Costco, with everything from Swiss Miss hot cocoa to ramen to a massive jar of peanut butter.

And lastly, today, a bunch of my friends lured me up onto the roof of another dorm, where they had prepared a "cheer up" party for me with lots of food and drinks and they bought me a Totoros to make me feel better.

All of these photos are of the gifts given to me during my recovery, but more precious than any object is the genuine caring and kindness behind these gifts. Being on exchange in a country where you can't properly communicate, nor understand what people may say to you makes for a very lonely experience, but people have adamantly found ways to show me that they care about my wellbeing. And then there are my friends and family back home who have been so supportive, listening to my anger and frustration without judgment and with wide open hearts. I am so grateful, and so fortunate and I only hope that I can make my loved ones proud and find some way to repay my friends.

It's really hard to keep things in perspective when you're injured and depressed. It can feel like the world is caving in on you and you're all alone in your suffering, but it seems like, if you can get past that tunnel vision, then the world just opens right up and things don't seem so impossible anymore. I'm not through the woods yet by a long shot, but I am not going to let what is going on for me right now, stop me from experiencing Japan as best I can.


<3
Rocketfrog

 

 

On being Disabled in Japan...pt 1 of what will likely be a very tedious series...

Along with the fun, typical, curious cultural lessons that go along with being in a new country, I've also learned a lot about being injured in Japan. Having a disability in Japan is challenging, to say the least. There seems to be a general lack of understanding and comprehension about injuries. That great "gaman" spirit is used to justify pushing people past their pain limits and just "suck it up" and keep at it. Priority to use the elevators is given to the staff, then disabled, and yet, that seems to matter little to the many, many students who like to use them, and on top of all this.....many of the elevators on campus are locked. You can't even use the damn things until you hunt down the person with the key!!!!

When I was given a room on the first floor of a dorm very close to my university, I assumed it was because they were being sensitive to my knee disabilities. Only yesterday, I realized that I got this place out of puuuuure luck of the draw. They put a girl with multiple sclerosis, who cannot climb stairs, on the fifth floor of my dorm. If there is a fire and the elevators are shut down, what is she supposed to do?!

It really hits home how lucky I am to have this particular dorm, especially when things like this happen:

I have had knee problems since I was a kid. My kneecaps twist partially out of the socket, very, very easily and depending on the severity of the twist, I may need to rest a few hours, or a few weeks. Yesterday, I tripped in the street, went stumbling forward and twisted the shit out of both knees before hitting the pavement. My right knee was the size of a fucking cantalope but due to my inability to communicate clearly in Japanese, everyone thought I was crying because the fall surprised me. So the first health clinic I went to didn't give me pain meds, gave me tiny little ice packs, and then dabbed alcohol on my skinned knee before wanting to send me off.

Lucky for me, nurses began to realize that there was something a little more serious going on and my dorm mom insisted that we go to another clinic for an Xray. Only after waiting for about an hour, they didn't have an xray, couldn't do anything to help but, they referred me to a sports injury Doctor at a nearby hospital who could speak English. I had to wait another two hours but as soon as I saw him, I got an Xray done, a brace made, and an MRI taken. They wanted to hospitalize me for the weekend, due to the fact that I could hardly walk but I wanted nothing more than to be home so I could contact my parents, sleep in my own bed and just be on my own. I took my first pain meds at eight that night and put on a proper icepack shortly after that.

Needless to say, yesterday was a very long day.

I am worried about the severity of this injury. The last time I popped my knee out in this kind of a manner, I was lined up for surgery within a few months. The doctor was vague as to what damage had been done this time. There was too much blood and other assorted fluids in my knee to even let the doctor manipulate my patella, so he was vague as to whether it may still be dislocated, or fractured but he seemed pretty certain I had contused the bones and there were little bone shards even I could pick up when I saw the Xray. My emotional health is a whole other ballgame. I just want to be left alone, but I can't manage tasks beyond being in my room, using the bathroom and feeding myself. So far, I'm sitting on who to contact until I have no other choice.

My parents have reminded me that I can come home and that my health is priority. If I have to go home, I have to go home, right? Right.

<3
Rocketfrog

Golden Week

Hey y'all! Happy Golden Week!

For those who are unfamiliar with this fancy dancy holiday, it is the longest string of holidays in Japan. This is when most people go out traveling with their friends, visiting family and traveling about a bit. I, along with two other exchange students, took the bullet train to Nagasaki for a three day visit. It was a very enlightening trip and I had a good time exploring the historical sites. I didn't have the opportunity to hit up on any of the Confucian or Shinto Shrines, but I was able to see Dejima Island, the Martyr's Museum, Urakami Cathedral, Peace Park, the Hypocenter of where the atomic bomb hit and the Oura Church.

Japan loves to promote it's local specialty foods and Nagasaki proudly claims the title as the "Castella" center of Japan. Castella is a special pound cake brought over by European foreigners which is dearly, dearly loved by the Japanese. And if I have to catch even another sniff of the stuff, I will ride that Shinkansen back to Nagasaki, find and burn every existing recipe for the cake. It was alright the first time I tried it but wherever we went, sellers pushed samples of the cake on you and they can be pretty pushy, considering how intense the competition is.....ooooh, I hate castella.... And I had to buy a block of the damn stuff as a souvenir for the people I know back here in Kyoto....

While in Fukuoka, we also went to "Huis Ten Bosch," a.... very odd amusement park which in my opinion was a complete waste of money and time. It is modeled after Holland and caters to all of your Dutch chocolate, cheese and amusement park-food needs. Of course, these places are the Japanese idea of what Holland is, and it works very, very hard to market the West to the Japanese. I've spent four years studying "Orientalism" and the exoticizing of Asians by the West and there I was, in a place that prided itself on bringing the "exotic" West to Japan. Oh irony. All of the rides were PG-kiddie amusement shows, though there was also a huge port section dedicated to the manga "One Piece", not a manga I follow, but the two girls I was with were very happy.


Anyways, I was very happy to come back to Kyoto. I met with an old friend in Osaka, wandered around Kyoto University which is close to my home and which happens to have a few vegan/vegetarian/health food restaurants/stores, (WIN!!!). There is the Falafel Garden, which has hummus worthy of my...very...picky best friend's palate (I <3 you), and there's the Sunny Place which is closed for Golden week, and then Cafe Proverbs (15:17), my favorite. It reminds me of a wonderful mix of the Naam in Vancouver and the Rebar in Victoria. The food is delicious, the atmosphere is relaxed and the staff are great. :) They seem to have something of a seasonal menu and right now, blueberries are the focus. Yuuum! I hope to go by there to study and enjoy their organic soy lattes again soon. It's such a cute place. If you happen to be in Kyoto, definitely make a stop by Cafe Proverbs (15:17).

<3
Rocketfrog

Ikenobo and the Rokkado Temple

Hey y'all,

Well, this past week has been pretty eventful, starting with last Friday when I went out to my first Kyoto club. Two other exchange students and I hit up the "World" dance club. It was super fun, the guys were polite (さすが日本人ね?) and the music was pretty good. Unfortunately, I ended the evening by twisting both knees, but being drunk, it didn't hurt too badly at the time. Anyways; got home safe and sound around four in the morning, giving me just enough sleep not to be hung over for when I went to see the Takarazuka Dance Revue with some friends. I ended up doing way more walking than I wanted, but at least I had my knee braces, cane and tensor bandages. The Takarazuka show was fun and lively, something I will probably be going to again, since so many of my friends are interested. Stopped by Namba on the way back to Kyoto (not exactly a stop that was along the way), a place I definitely want to be spending more time checking out (when I have money again). Then there were classes and school, which have been rather interesting. The level's appropriate for where I last left off, but adjusting to the Japanese way of getting things done is taking some patience...


One of the classes I have enrolled in is an Ikebana class and yesterday, class was taken outside of the classroom to the Ikenobo headquarters and the Rokkado Temple. I have walked up and down Karasumadori numerous times, but would probably never have found this place if not for the class. The Kenobo is something of a private Ikebana association and the headquarters it is housed in, is possibly one of the most beautiful buildings I've been in. The entire first floor is elegant white marble and reflects the idea of human-recreated nature. There were indoor ponds with baby carp, massive carp and a large glass enclosure with little white birds inside. Right outside of the Ikenobo is the Rokkado Temple, which is equally beautiful and surrounded by tall skyscrapers.

I think you may need to call in advance if you want to visit, but it is well worth a visit to this place!

<3 Rocketfrog

Update: April 3-11

Hello all! Sorry there's been such a gap between posts. I'm nearly a month into my exchange here at Doshisha University, and time has just been swept up in a whirlwind of homesickness, hay fever, fleeting moments of connection, frustration and moodiness. I'm trying really hard to avoid getting sucked into bitterness and anger, and when I relax, allow myself to be open minded and calm, things progress forward.

Despite all of the earthquakes and reports of unrest here in Japan, life progresses normally. Aside from shortages of large bottles of water in conbinis and donation boxes placed all over the city, all of these reports of what is happening might as well be occurring in another country. Some matsuris and small festivals have been canceled out of respect and I have been told that the usual festive hanami mood is quieter and more contained than usual.

I've decided to make a point to try and get to as many traditional, notable matsuris that I can. I bought this great book called "英語で紹介する京都” or "Kyoto introduced in English", a bilingual book, divided by seasons, and then year-round attractions. On the third of April, I went to the Seiryu-e Matsuri at Kiyomizudera with some other international students. There was taiko drumming and people lining up to be blessed against ill fortune, and of course, there was the dragon, which my camera could see much better than I could.

During the days leading up to school, I tried to spend as much time as I could outside, enjoying the sakura blossoms and the warm (finally!) weather and breezy days. It is so beautiful; it is easy to understand why the Japanese love sakura so much. Right now, the early blossoms are falling and it is like pink rain! Very, very beautiful.

Over this past weekend, I went to two 花見 (hanami, literally, flower watching) parties, one at Maruyama park and the other on the banks of the Kamogawa river, held by two different Doshisha circles, one for speaking English and the other for international friendship. There was lots to drink and snack on, and plenty of kind, friendly people to talk to. My only complaint is that sitting with your legs folded under your body for upward of five hours, on rocky ground that's threaded through with knotted roots can really do a number on your shins, let alone your knees and hips!

And on Sunday, I went to see the Yasurai matsuri, held at the Imamiya Jinja. This festival is considered one of three eccentric festivals of Kyoto. It is very old and very traditional, all held to lure a Kami back into the shrine with beautiful flowers and music. People who visit on that day are supposed to have a year of very good health. I refrained from buying the usual omamori that you can attach to your bags, but bought the special mochi treat that this shrine prides itself for (aburi mochi, mochi heated over coal, then covered in a sweet-salty miso sauce), and stuck around to watch the ceremony. Performers dress in red robes with black and red wigs, chanting and singing, and being followed by shinto priests and young men playing flutes. I didn't take many photos, as it was really quite crowded, and also...we ended up leaving about half way through. My friend and I had arrived around 11:30, thinking that the ceremony would begin around 12, as my english online source had advised, but apparently, the real showtime was 3, so by 3:45, we were both pretty tired.

On a different note, school has started up and I'm a bit intimidated. I was fairly certain that I did poorly on the placement exam I took, however, I guess my spoken abilities and listening comprehension are stronger than I had believed them to be, as my oral interview went quite well, and the instructors considered placing me in Level 5, about halfway up the learning levels here at Doshisha (the level system is from 1, beginners, to 9 which would be fluent as fluent can be, I imagine). I'm ashamed to say, my pride swelled at the thought of being intermediate level, but I requested Level 4, since I still possessed a brief, fleeting hint of common sense and boy am I glad I did. The work here is going to be very intensive and I'm already scrambling to figure out a homework schedule for myself that I can pull off successfully. Aside from the requisite 10 Japanese classes I'm enrolled in, I am taking a Japanese culture class on Kyoto gardens (taught in Japanese), a class on Intermediate Japanese grammer (also taught in Japanese), an ikebana class (...also in Japanese), and a class on Japanese dialects (In English!!!).

I felt a little unsure about taking so many Japanese culture classes, but now that I've actually sat through them all, I'm glad. If Japanese speaking, reading, writing and listening are all goals of mine, I think I'm on the right track. There are classes on anthropology, psychology and business available in English, but right now, I just want to strengthen my Japanese as much as possible. Next term, I think I will take business classes along with my Japanese.

Anyways, it's late and I just wanted to post up a brief update on what's been going on. I'll write a whole post on Japanese classes and University in comparison with Canadian classes and university.

<3
Rocketfrom

On the Go'o Shrine and Japanese Kindness

I am homesick. No getting around that one. Other than one super friendly, lovely girl from England whom I shall name "T", I haven't made any friends. I know I'm getting a bit ahead of myself, and hopefully, things will pick up when school officially begins next week, but I really want to share all the little experiences I'm enjoying with some friends! T has been here for half a year already, thus has her own social network and club activities and I don't want to hang off of her and be, what she would call, a "drip".

So! I remind myself, "Rocketfrog, you big baby, how often are you going to have the opportunity to be in Kyoto as a student?! Go out and study life!" So, instead of stew away in my room while staring at my contact list on skype for someone to talk to, I've been walking to get to know this city as well as I can. And today was quite the lesson!

Without planning it, I made my first Jinja visit today. After my oral interview to help determine what level I should be studying Japanese at, I walked my way from my university, down Karasuma-dori with the intention to get to Sanjo-dori and the Nishikikoji-dori food market around lunch time, but I came across this jinja first. The Go'o Shrine is across the park from where I'm staying and it is so lovely and I felt refreshed when I saw it! It is overrun with boar statues, bells, paintings, even mounted boar heads, all since a Heian-era advisor was protected by a herd of wild boar while injured. I kind of meditated on the symbolism of boars, what they typically represent; since stubbornness and diligence came to the top of my mind, both qualities that I dearly, dearly desire for my year here studying. It felt right that I found this place before my classes should officially begin. The little spiritualist inside of me felt a little like I was guided there, since being alone gives me time to meditate a little and in retrospect, that feeling is ever so slightly strengthened, as apparently people with leg injuries go there to be healed, since the Heian-era advisor suffered a leg injury. With my knee problems, I need all the help I can get!

After bowing, praying, and paying the gods a pittance in hope for their good will, I looked around a bit. There were other people in the small shrine to make their prayers, not including several Shinto priests, shrine caretakers, and a kind Miko (shrine maiden) who took the time to explain the different omamori to me since I couldn't read the kanji on all of them. Needless to say, I bought the omamori for good luck in studying for myself and picked up two others for my dear roomies back in Victoria.

After the Jinja, I kept walking until I got to the shopping streets of Teramachi-dori, Sanjo-dori and Karawamachi-dori. When I got there, I went to a kaiten-sushi restaurant for theeee...fourth time? In five days? I'm a big fan of raw fish.Would you believe I used to be vegan.... I'm a bad person. Mother Nature is going to punish me somehow for my broken moral compass, I know it. T.T

At least kaiten-sushi is.....cheap?! Does that make things better...? Anyways, there are two kaiten-sushi places right across from each other at Sanjo-dori and Kawaramachi-dori and instead of going to the usual, cheaper chain restaurant one, I went to the other that has slightly higher quality fish. It was a little crowded since it was lunch time and I was sat next to this skinny, middle-aged man with a few missing teeth. Being a big girl, I kind of dwarfed him, but whatever! I was just there for some lunch, so I kind of just tried to focus on what was on the conveyor belt in front of me. Anyways, he was halfway through a mid-sized bottle of wine and I could tell he really, really wanted to talk. Once he realized I wasn't Japanese, but could speak a bit of Japanese, he just gushed over.

He quickly ordered me four pieces of sushi and began telling me about his daughter who is my age, working at a company. It's rough being a parent, he said, and that my parents must miss me very much, which I agreed with (how could I not? I may not be a parent, but I know my parents miss me as much as I miss them). As I drank cup after cup of green tea and hesitantly ate the sushi he had ordered for me, he told me about his life, how he lost his job and being middle-aged means that getting rehired is incredibly hard, and then his wife died a few months ago and right after lunch, he had to go off to the bank to try and figure out what to do about the expensive funeral costs he had to pay. He whipped out the actual bill to show me too, though I couldn't read the characters. He went on to talk about the earthquake and that Japanese people, while they were kind, were like people everywhere else in the world and that the National News station was refusing to cover the cases of theft that were occurring... He covered a whole lot of conversation territory in about an hour!

I couldn't say too much, not that I really knew what to say. I tried to share the four pieces of sushi with him (he had only eaten six pieces), to which he refused, saying he couldn't eat anymore. Something about....I'm not sure if I heard this right, but he had gotten severely sick and had to have half of his stomach excised?! I felt really uncomfortable, because I had a feeling that he was going to pay for my sushi, despite having money problems and what could I possibly have to say about the terrible challenges he was facing? He wasn't greasy or scary; he was just looking for someone to talk to, and I'm ashamed to say that all I felt was the desire to leave. When I excused myself and said I had to go and study, he told me to study my hardest at Japanese so I could grow up and give my parents a daughter to be proud of. Let me tell you, I can't remember the last time I've felt so guilty, especially because no matter what I said, he insisted on paying for the food I had eaten because, he said, talking with me had made him happy.

Needless to say, I spent the next three hours wandering around Kyoto with that man on my mind, feeling guilty for excusing myself when I could have sat there longer and talked with him. I hope I can learn from this to be relaxed and more easy going so that the next time I am in such a situation, I can focus more on whomever is speaking with me and their happiness, instead of getting stuck in my own head.

I don't know that man's name, but I wish I had taken the time to find out. Perhaps the best thing I can do, aside from not make the same mistake twice, is to try and share that kindness and warmth with another stranger someday?

In retrospect; I may feel homesick, but I can hardly say that I am lonely. Walking and looking at the shops is distracting, and there are some really kind people here. I am resolved to be open-minded enough that I can recognize the opportunities that present themselves to me and make the most of them! I want to be the kind of person that will make my parents proud, but more than that, I want to be the kind of person I can be proud of. Quietly. :)

<3
Rocketfrog