On the Go'o Shrine and Japanese Kindness

I am homesick. No getting around that one. Other than one super friendly, lovely girl from England whom I shall name "T", I haven't made any friends. I know I'm getting a bit ahead of myself, and hopefully, things will pick up when school officially begins next week, but I really want to share all the little experiences I'm enjoying with some friends! T has been here for half a year already, thus has her own social network and club activities and I don't want to hang off of her and be, what she would call, a "drip".

So! I remind myself, "Rocketfrog, you big baby, how often are you going to have the opportunity to be in Kyoto as a student?! Go out and study life!" So, instead of stew away in my room while staring at my contact list on skype for someone to talk to, I've been walking to get to know this city as well as I can. And today was quite the lesson!

Without planning it, I made my first Jinja visit today. After my oral interview to help determine what level I should be studying Japanese at, I walked my way from my university, down Karasuma-dori with the intention to get to Sanjo-dori and the Nishikikoji-dori food market around lunch time, but I came across this jinja first. The Go'o Shrine is across the park from where I'm staying and it is so lovely and I felt refreshed when I saw it! It is overrun with boar statues, bells, paintings, even mounted boar heads, all since a Heian-era advisor was protected by a herd of wild boar while injured. I kind of meditated on the symbolism of boars, what they typically represent; since stubbornness and diligence came to the top of my mind, both qualities that I dearly, dearly desire for my year here studying. It felt right that I found this place before my classes should officially begin. The little spiritualist inside of me felt a little like I was guided there, since being alone gives me time to meditate a little and in retrospect, that feeling is ever so slightly strengthened, as apparently people with leg injuries go there to be healed, since the Heian-era advisor suffered a leg injury. With my knee problems, I need all the help I can get!

After bowing, praying, and paying the gods a pittance in hope for their good will, I looked around a bit. There were other people in the small shrine to make their prayers, not including several Shinto priests, shrine caretakers, and a kind Miko (shrine maiden) who took the time to explain the different omamori to me since I couldn't read the kanji on all of them. Needless to say, I bought the omamori for good luck in studying for myself and picked up two others for my dear roomies back in Victoria.

After the Jinja, I kept walking until I got to the shopping streets of Teramachi-dori, Sanjo-dori and Karawamachi-dori. When I got there, I went to a kaiten-sushi restaurant for theeee...fourth time? In five days? I'm a big fan of raw fish.Would you believe I used to be vegan.... I'm a bad person. Mother Nature is going to punish me somehow for my broken moral compass, I know it. T.T

At least kaiten-sushi is.....cheap?! Does that make things better...? Anyways, there are two kaiten-sushi places right across from each other at Sanjo-dori and Kawaramachi-dori and instead of going to the usual, cheaper chain restaurant one, I went to the other that has slightly higher quality fish. It was a little crowded since it was lunch time and I was sat next to this skinny, middle-aged man with a few missing teeth. Being a big girl, I kind of dwarfed him, but whatever! I was just there for some lunch, so I kind of just tried to focus on what was on the conveyor belt in front of me. Anyways, he was halfway through a mid-sized bottle of wine and I could tell he really, really wanted to talk. Once he realized I wasn't Japanese, but could speak a bit of Japanese, he just gushed over.

He quickly ordered me four pieces of sushi and began telling me about his daughter who is my age, working at a company. It's rough being a parent, he said, and that my parents must miss me very much, which I agreed with (how could I not? I may not be a parent, but I know my parents miss me as much as I miss them). As I drank cup after cup of green tea and hesitantly ate the sushi he had ordered for me, he told me about his life, how he lost his job and being middle-aged means that getting rehired is incredibly hard, and then his wife died a few months ago and right after lunch, he had to go off to the bank to try and figure out what to do about the expensive funeral costs he had to pay. He whipped out the actual bill to show me too, though I couldn't read the characters. He went on to talk about the earthquake and that Japanese people, while they were kind, were like people everywhere else in the world and that the National News station was refusing to cover the cases of theft that were occurring... He covered a whole lot of conversation territory in about an hour!

I couldn't say too much, not that I really knew what to say. I tried to share the four pieces of sushi with him (he had only eaten six pieces), to which he refused, saying he couldn't eat anymore. Something about....I'm not sure if I heard this right, but he had gotten severely sick and had to have half of his stomach excised?! I felt really uncomfortable, because I had a feeling that he was going to pay for my sushi, despite having money problems and what could I possibly have to say about the terrible challenges he was facing? He wasn't greasy or scary; he was just looking for someone to talk to, and I'm ashamed to say that all I felt was the desire to leave. When I excused myself and said I had to go and study, he told me to study my hardest at Japanese so I could grow up and give my parents a daughter to be proud of. Let me tell you, I can't remember the last time I've felt so guilty, especially because no matter what I said, he insisted on paying for the food I had eaten because, he said, talking with me had made him happy.

Needless to say, I spent the next three hours wandering around Kyoto with that man on my mind, feeling guilty for excusing myself when I could have sat there longer and talked with him. I hope I can learn from this to be relaxed and more easy going so that the next time I am in such a situation, I can focus more on whomever is speaking with me and their happiness, instead of getting stuck in my own head.

I don't know that man's name, but I wish I had taken the time to find out. Perhaps the best thing I can do, aside from not make the same mistake twice, is to try and share that kindness and warmth with another stranger someday?

In retrospect; I may feel homesick, but I can hardly say that I am lonely. Walking and looking at the shops is distracting, and there are some really kind people here. I am resolved to be open-minded enough that I can recognize the opportunities that present themselves to me and make the most of them! I want to be the kind of person that will make my parents proud, but more than that, I want to be the kind of person I can be proud of. Quietly. :)

<3
Rocketfrog